An Unforgettable Memory

            *Ring* *Ring* "Lloyd's Electric, Lloyd here."  As I look back on the years since he passed away, I picture him by the gray desk that he so often occupied when he wasn't on a service call.   The desk is covered with papers and phone numbers, beckoning for someone to sort through all the bills and checks.  As he works diligently, scribbling down messages and notes, his work is interrupted by an anxious customer, desiring his assistance.  When he picks up the phone, he answers with his unforgettable greeting, anticipating their request.  His voice low and rough, yet friendly, he assures them that he will be with them as quickly as possible.  He grabs his jacket and heads for the big truck, set out to do the job that he does best.

            I sit in his big chair behind the desk with a book in my hand.  When I glance around, I take in the peace that fills the room and remember the man who slipped away from me like sand through my fingers.  As I think of that dreadful day, quiet teardrops begin to make their way down my cheeks, hitting his desk with a small splatter; wondering why that day had to happen at all.  The time passes slowly and I remember the shock that absorbed my body.            

            It was a cool day in October, the slight breeze rustling the leaves.  The trees were preparing for winter, sending a warm and friendly goodbye with their radiant and bright colors.  As my sisters and I enjoyed our day at what seemed like our second home, Dad walked in and brought us into the office.  We wondered what was going on as he left us for a brief moment only to return after a few minutes with a sorrowful expression and bloodshot eyes.  The words that spilled out of his mouth left us with the feeling that we were in a nightmare.  He told us what had happened; everyone stood still, not knowing what to say or do.  As reality set in, Whitney took a seat on Dad's lap, crying in his arms as she realized what was going on.  

"But he was going to take us fishing, Dad."           

His reply assured me that he would take me fishing someday.  I know that it wasn't important, but it seemed so at the time.  I probably felt the need to say something to lighten the mood, but nothing was going to lift anyone’s spirits anytime soon.  It took me a while to fully grasp the realness of the situation, but as the pastor came and relatives filed in, what used to be a blur became very clear- Grandpa was gone and wasn’t going to come back. 

            Over the next few days, I slowly began to put my life together again, following my regular routine.  This time, however, there was a piece of me that was missing and I knew I wasn’t going to find it.  The very last time I got to see him was at the funeral and as I looked at his lifeless body, I wanted so desperately to ask him, “Why did you have to go?” 

I longed to tell him that I loved him, but I knew that I wouldn’t get any response.  After the service, I sat under a small tent on a steel chair.  My sisters and I took our turns picking out a flower from his casket and received a purple ribbon with the word “Grandpa” on it.  It was as if we were able to have something that served as a remembrance of him; something we could take before he was finally lowered into the ground.  But like all flowers, my precious rose didn’t live forever.  It eventually wilted and died, leaving me with only memories.

            Though I know he is no longer present with me, the memory of his love and compassion remains imprinted on my heart forever.  He has impacted me greatly; his kindness and gentleness reminds me to love my neighbors and put others first.  Though I desperately wish that he was with me right now, I can't help but wonder what my life would be like if Grandpa had never even stepped foot in it.  I learned that you can, in fact, influence those around you by your words and actions.  Today, a little over seven years since Grandpa’s death, I still have people telling me of what a great man he was- brave, generous, loving, kind, and many other things.  He has taught me so much even though he was only with me for a short period of my life.

            So as I sit here in his chair, I wipe away my tears and pray for a change of heart; a heart that will impact the world like my Grandpa did.  I get up and head out the door, flicking the lights out as I go.  I walk to the car and take a seat next to my Grandma.  As I glance her way, I begin to admire her for the way she handled his passing.  She knew that her husband was in a better place and stayed strong in her faith.  While driving on the gravel road, I pray for the same strength that she has, the strength to move on and remain thankful to God. 

The car slows as we reach our destination.  I grab my flowers and head up the hill to his final resting place.  Laying down the flowers and holding back the tears, I tell him that I love him.  The wind blows through my hair as I sit and reminisce about his memory.  It’s time to go and I leave the cemetery, realizing just how much he changed my life.  Finally I smile, knowing that he is in the right place and that when I get to heaven, I will get to see his face once again.                 

The Death of Christ

            Almost a month ago, we celebrated Good Friday- the day that Christ paid the ultimate sacrifice for our sins.  Easter Sunday was also a day of remembrance; one that made us stop and think about his resurrection from the dead.  We took the time to remember what Jesus Christ did for us in order for us to obtain eternal life.  Most of us are blessed to know that Jesus did, in fact, die for us to take God’s punishment and on the third day, rose from the dead.  However, some have the misfortune of being led to believe that this is a myth.  There are different misconceptions floating around and upon learning about a few of them, I found this one rather interesting; not because it is easy to believe, but quite the opposite.  In fact, there are many aspects of the death of Jesus that clearly show that this theory is, well, a little off.  Though we are sure that Jesus died, people who agree with this belief, know Jesus to be one that never really died but merely fainted and was revived by the coolness of the tomb that he was buried in.  This idea is often referred to as the “Swoon Theory.”

            Along with going against what the Bible says, this assumption doesn’t agree at all with medical science.  When Jesus was crucified, his body was in the most terrible condition, it could be considered insanity to think that he could have survived.  Before his death, he was beaten… scratch that… he was scourged.  The whip that crossed his back 39 times contained tiny bits of metal or glass that were meant to rip through the skin.  These beatings were so severe, his muscles were in shreds and his skeleton was clearly visible.  The crown of thorns that was placed on his head was able to tear through a scalp.  Many people died from this torture alone.

            So, as you can see, his body was already severely damaged even before he was on the cross.  When he was hung on the cross, the nails went through his wrist; this action dislocated his shoulders and demolished his median nerve.  Destroying this nerve resulted in extreme pain and an immediate inability to move the arm.  As he hung there, he had to use the nails in his feet to support him in order to avoid suffocation.  His blood drained from the wounds on his body, making his heartbeat more rapidly with every passing second.  With his heart pumping faster, he struggled to gasp air, adding to his pain.  Since his body was losing so much blood in a short amount of time, he was in need of water to produce more blood.  His body was so low on blood that there was a very miniscule amount of oxygen left in him.  This lack of oxygen caused his heart to burst, filling his chest with liquid.  When the soldier pierced Jesus’ side, blood and water flowed out of his body.  This separation of the blood and water signified that his heart had indeed stopped working.

            There is much more evidence that Jesus had, in fact, died; there were a great amount of witnesses that proclaimed his death.  Also, when he was buried, his body was tightly wrapped in cloth and the stone that closed the tomb was too large for any one man to open by himself.  Now, because Jesus is also 100% God, he would have been capable of doing all these things that would have allowed him to save himself, but to pay for our punishment, his death was necessary.

            Some argue that the Romans could have been mistaken when pronouncing the end of Jesus Christ.  There have been some instances in which slow and shallow heartbeats have been mistaken for death- this very well could have happened.  However, the conditions of Jesus’ body clearly show that his destruction was for sure.  Not to mention that the Bible tells us that he did pass away. 

            Though Easter is the time in which we remember the death and resurrection of Jesus, we are to celebrate the Easter story every day of our lives.  Because he did, in fact, die for us and rise again, he overcame death.  Through this victory we can have life… life everlasting.

Whitney

            One night, during Christmas break, my sisters and I were watching a movie. We started it very late so our parents were in bed by the time the movie was over. After the movie was done, Nicole proceeded to go to bed while Whitney and I brushed our teeth. When I was finished brushing my teeth, Whitney asked me how first semester was going. I explained to her the troubles I was facing and our little chit-chat turned into a conversation that probably lasted over an hour. I asked her how Letourneau was treating her and she told me of the problems she was having. We laughed and cried as we shared our recent school experiences. I said to her “We’ve been standing in the bathroom for nearly an hour and we’re both teary-eyed.” I think I was surprised with myself because I don’t normally express my emotions in the same manner we did that night. Afterwards, she simply told me “Natalie, this is what sisters do.”

        Shortly after she said that to me, I realized that she was absolutely right. Not only were we able to be honest with each other about what we had been facing, we had the opportunity to encourage one another. I know this experience was good for me and I think it would be safe to say that Whitney would agree with me. We hadn’t seen each other in almost four months and to be honest, I don’t know that anyone else would have been able to understand what I had told Whitney. I had bottled up my emotions for so long and when I talked with her, I knew I would be able to spill them all out. Most of all, she was willing to listen to me and I was willing to listen to her and I think that we both greatly appreciated one another for that.

            I know that Whitney will always be there for me when I need someone, but not only is she a great friend who supports me, she is an excellent role model. She always did well in her studies at school and as I watched her go through high school, I learned that grades were important to her. Seeing her excel in so many areas made me want to be like that. She was a good student and tried her best in everything that she did. When I saw how she studied and made school one of her top priorities, I realized that God's will for me right now is to be a good student. My job is to go to school and learn more about the world that he created. I must honor and glorify him while I am doing the job that I was cut out to do. 

            Another thing that she taught me was that life isn't always going to be easy and that in all things we need to have faith that God will guide us. Whitney endured some hard times during high school and I know that sometimes she felt like giving up, but she never gave up. She put her trust in God and persevered through it. 

            Throughout our lives, I have watched Whitney make some accomplishments. Before her senior year in high school, she went to all-state band. She had the opportunity to play in Duluth and Orchestra Hall in the Twin Cities along with students from all over the state. She was valedictorian in her class and maintained a 4.0 throughout junior high and high school. She has obtained many scholarships for college and was named to the president's list at Letourneau University. She has gotten her private pilot's license and has even taken me for a few rides.  Through all of these achievements, Whitney taught me to never give up and to chase after my

dreams.           

            Sometimes I can’t help but marvel at what a genius our Creator is. I don’t know what I would do without Whitney; I don't know what I would do without any of my family. All I know is that God put Whitney in my life for a reason and that I am incredibly grateful for her presence in my life. So I dedicate this essay and the time and effort that went into it to celebrate my sister.  I hope that everyone can experience the joy of Whitney as I do; for she truly is a magnificent part of God's creation. 

Big Screen vs. Paperback

           We’ve all had it where we read a book and then watched the movie which depicts the characters and settings.  One of my favorite movies is a perfect example of this scenario- Dear John.  However, after reading the book, I found that it didn’t perfectly resemble the movie.  Though movies based on books try to tell the same story, sometimes they contain differences and even surprise you with a twist that wasn’t in the book.

            Though there are details that differentiate the book from the movie, there are several similarities.  Both the book and the movie portray a man named John Tyree who is in the Special Forces.  The other main character displayed in both the movie and the book is Savannah Curtis, a college student.  Throughout their stories, they discover that the relationship that they establish will be far from easy and will contain many ups and downs.  Savannah has to go back to college and John has to finish his enlistment in the army.  After two weeks together, they must say goodbye.  They decide to write letters to each other, allowing them to keep in touch while they are apart.  Once John’s service in the army is completed, something terrible happens… 9/11.  His whole squad makes the decision to re-enlist for three more years making John and Savannah wait even longer to be able to spend their time together.

            They keep writing letters to one another, but as the weeks go by, the number of letters that John receives from Savannah shrinks.  He hasn’t gotten mail from her in a long time, making him wonder what is happening.  He waits and waits to hear a single scrap of news.  Then, one day he receives a single letter.  Enclosed in the envelope is a message that will change both their lives forever.  Savannah tells him that she is engaged to someone else and that their relationship has come to an end.  When John returns home for his father’s funeral, he finds out that Savannah married Tim, a friend of hers.  After a short marriage, Tim becomes very ill and spends a great deal of his time in the hospital.

            Up until this point, the major details of the book and movie have stayed fairly the same.  However, this is where they take different paths.  The book tells the reader that Tim develops skin cancer.  When John finds out, he donates money that he inherited from a coin collection to Tim so he may undergo an experimental drug that ends up saving his life.  The movie paints the ending a little differently.  Tim comes down with lymphoma and doesn’t have much time to live.  John gives a generous amount of money to help pay Tim’s medical bills.  After spending a short time out of the hospital and saying his final goodbyes, Tim passes away.  Following Tim’s death, the movie leads you to believe that John and Savannah get back together again. 

            Along with the altered ending, there were also a few minor details that were changed.  For example, the book very clearly describes Savannah with dark brown hair while the movie shows her with blonde hair.  In the book, Allan, another main character, is Tim’s brother.  On the contrary, the movie shows Allan as Tim’s son.  Overall, the movie puts a bigger emphasis on the letters written by John and Savannah then the book. 

            Though they have their differences, I found both the movie and the book quite enjoyable.  They both portray main characters that learn from life experiences; some of which can be applied to our lives today.  People may tell you otherwise, but saying one is better than the other is strictly a matter of opinion and is ultimately up to you to decide which one is in your best interest.

Guns: Deadly Weapons or Life Savers?

            To think that we should be denied our right to own guns is completely outrageous!  Not only do guns provide safety, they allow us to participate in activities that help shape our lives.  Though most people think that guns are mechanisms that are built to harm, less than one percent of firearms and handguns are used in criminal activity in any given year.

            In fact, there are many reasons that suggest owning guns is a wise decision.  For example, most people would not be comfortable living without a gun to act as a defensive weapon.  When people know that there is a gun safely secured somewhere in their house, they have a sense of security and know that if something should go terribly wrong, they have something to protect themselves with.  If the beholder of the weapon uses the gun wisely, it can be very successful tool in stabilizing or killing the intruder or person who is trying to harm you.  According to the NRA, 32 percent of firearms and 58 percent of handguns are used for self defense.  Along with such defensive purposes, guns also allow people all over the country to hunt for deer, pheasants, and other game.  Hunting game is part of many family traditions and can be necessary for obtaining food.

           If we look back at American history, we clearly see that guns have been a part of us for a large period of time.  During the Revolutionary War, the United States was mainly a subsistent nation- individuals would gather food using guns.  They also used guns in battle.  Think of how different wars would have been if guns would not have been around?  Some of these aspects of the Revolutionary War are still here.  As I mentioned, firearms can be used to provide food.  The NRA says that 51 percent of firearms and 10 percent of handguns are used for hunting purposes.  This clearly shows us that guns play a vital role in our lives.

            Numerous statistics show that a small percentage of guns are used for criminal activity.  Surprisingly, in only 0.1 percent of defensive actions is a criminal killed by the firearm and in only one percent is a criminal wounded.  This statistic may also disrupt your thinking- the Department of Justice conducted a survey in which they found that four out of ten felons decided not to engage in a particular criminal activity because they feared that their victim was equipped with a weapon.  Approximately 30 percent of these felons admitted to the fact that they were scared off or targeted by their hostages.  Other than hunting and protection, firearms and handguns are often used for target shooting.

            Though firearm possession has climbed 140 percent and handgun possession 200 percent, fatal accidents have decreased at a rate of 67 percent over the last few years due to safety programs.  But that’s not the only thing that has deteriorated.  Places that allow people to own guns have a lower risk of being involved in crimes.  States with strict gun usage laws have 31 percent higher chances of homicides and 36 percent higher chances of robbery.

            Though there is some disagreement about personal gun usage and ownership, the second amendment clearly states, “A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.”  Some people believe that the United States is now protected by a disciplined army and that the second amendment is no longer legitimate.  However, many people strongly believe that the people of America should have the right to own a gun.  Maybe a limitation on the number of guns people can own should be considered, but I don’t think that guns should be taken from us.  If guns are sued for delinquent purposes, then maybe we should consider background checks when purchasing firearms or handguns.  To demolish the right to own weapons would be unfair to those who actually used guns for worthy causes.

            Like I mentioned before, guns are used for important things including safety.  GOA (Gun Owners of America) makes it clear that sometimes you have no choice but to “Stand Your Ground.”  “Taking my gun away because I might shoot someone is like cutting my tongue out because I might yell ‘Fire!’ in a crowded theatre” says Peter Venetoklis.  Those who use these machines properly should be able to obtain their right to own guns, but it is important to remember that owning guns is also a privilege and we must be wise in our decisions when it comes to weaponry.  “The very atmosphere of firearms anywhere and everywhere restrains evil interference – they deserve a place of honor with all that’s good.” –George Washington

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

            This is it.  This is what it all comes down to.  Who will win?  Good or evil?  In Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, a fiction book by J.K. Rowling, Harry and his two very good friends set out to defeat the evil that is roaming through their world.  Ever since the beginning, Harry, Ron, and Hermione set out to discover the secrets of “You-Know-Who” and his evil ways.

            It all started in the first book, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, when the villainous Lord Voldemort stormed through the doors of the house that belonged to Lily and James Potter.  As he chanted the dreaded spell, he murdered James and came upon Lily holding her beloved son, Harry.  Trying to shield her son from the very face of death, there was a sudden flash of green.  Lily was gone… but Harry was alive.  Protected by his mother’s love, Harry was left with nothing but a lightning scar on his forehead.

            After the tragic death of his parents, Harry had no choice but to live with his relatives.  As young Harry grows up and is old enough to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the secret about his identity is still hidden from him.  Though Harry can do mysterious things, he doesn’t yet know that he is a wizard.

            The school year approaches and Hagrid, the school’s gamekeeper, finds Harry.  Lies are about to be unveiled.  All his life, Harry grew up thinking that his parents died from a car crash and his scar was merely a witness to such a thing.  Now he finds out the truth. 

            He leaves with Hagrid and begins his new life at Hogwarts.  He meets Ron and Hermione who ultimately help him along his journey to defeat the monster that took everything from him.

            Though Voldemort may have been overcome for a short period of time, he comes back to life and continues to bring horror throughout the wizarding world, trying to accomplish one thing… to finish what he started… to kill Harry Potter.

            Through all the years at Hogwarts, Harry puts some of the pieces together and continues to inch closer to ending Lord Voldemort’s evil reign.  However, this task is very dangerous.  The powers of Lord Voldemort are almost unbeatable and beyond comprehension.

            In the Deathly Hallows, Harry, Ron, and Hermione are about to enter their seventh and last year of school at Hogwarts.  Lord Voldemort is becoming more powerful than ever and is on the move.  They must defeat him.  On their quest, they find out that their mission is much more difficult than they think.  Voldemort has portions of his soul hidden.  One remains inside of him, keeping him alive, but seven other pieces of his soul are scattered with no hint as to where to find them.  In order to put an end to him, all pieces of his soul must be located and destroyed, including the one in Voldemort himself. They skip their last year of school to find them and to ultimately rid the world of this terrible wizard.  As the book progresses they continue their search, getting closer and closer to finding all of them while escaping the deadly spells of Voldemort and his “Death Eaters.”

            Though the book is filled with sorcery and dark magic, I believe that it contains a hidden and deeper meaning.  The story of Harry Potter and his fight against Lord Voldemort very closely resembles that of the story of Jesus Christ and his resurrection and victory over death.  In the book Rowling uses phrases that are stated in the Bible like “The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death,” found in 1 Corinthians 15:26 and “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also,” found in Matthew 6:21.  Another theme that resembles that of Jesus Christ is Lily Potter.  When she faced Voldemort, she shielded her son Harry which ultimately saved his life.  He was protected by his mother’s love.  Just like Harry, we are saved by the grace of God.  He loves us so much that he sent his Son to die on the cross for us and take on the punishment that we rightfully deserve.

            All throughout the books, I enjoyed reading about Harry and his friends. I don’t read that often, but out of the books that I have read, I haven’t read many books quite like these.  In fact, I can’t put a finger on any book that I enjoyed reading as much as those of Harry.  The author does such a great job of describing the characters and what they are feeling.  By the time I finished the series, I felt as if Harry, Ron, and Hermione were almost like good friends to me.  The books made me feel like they were real. Throughout all their stories, I got to know them and their personalities.  Another thing that I liked about these particular books was the fact that I never knew what was going to happen next. 

            It is hard for me to choose, but after finishing the books, I came to the conclusion that the last book, the Deathly Hallows, was my favorite.  It was exciting, cheerful, suspenseful, sorrowful, and everything else that comes with a good book.  It was a great way to end such a wonderful series.  I hope that you can enjoy getting to know Harry and his story as I did.  I am sure that I will read other books that are thrilling and full of action, but I will never forget the life of Harry Potter.

The Apology

             With trembling hands and drops of sweat forming on his head, Shane waited for what seemed like an eternity.  After he mounted the bull and made sure he was in the right position, he slipped on his leather glove.  As he clenched the braided rope with his mighty hand and gripped the bull with his powerful knees, the speaker introduced Shane to the millions of people watching him.  As he glanced at the crowd and flashing lights that surrounded him, he remembered all the things in his life that led him to where he was now.

        It was mid-June on a Saturday evening.  Troy was sitting in the stands with his father watching the local rodeo.  He was always amazed by the cowboys from all over the nation that performed tricks and stunts on their horses.  He was most thrilled, however, when it was time for the bull riding.  Since it was the last event of the show, most people began to pack their things and escape the rush to leave while the riding was taking place.  Not Troy.  For him, that was when the fun began- that was the highlight of the whole night.  Watching those brave cowboys inspired him.  He hoped that someday he would be in their boots.

        Troy grew up with his parents and younger brother Shane.  Their homestead lay outside of the city of Cody, Wyoming and overlooked the Absaroka Range.  The mountains were surrounded by peaceful streams and beautiful prairie grass.  When the evening hours approached, the sun hid behind the magnificent mountains and cast a shadow on all the wildflowers.  Darkness was all around on the ranch and covered everything except the radiance of the moon in the sky that cast a reflection in the streams.  As the night came to an end, the sun shone through the windows of the small country house as it rose high in the sky.  The dew drops that covered the grass glistened in the sun; it was the start of a new day and everyone began to awaken.

        His older brother had always loved bull riding so why couldn’t he?  Shane walked in his brother’s footsteps and developed a love and passion for the sport too.  Where they grew up, bull riding was the real deal- the sport that truly tested your ability and strength.  The men that rode those bad boys were the real jocks.  They were heroes- the ones that young boys looked up to.  They both had a desire to become someone who stirred everyone’s conversations.  It was their dream to ride those dangerous bulls and hear the “Ride ‘em cowboy!” over the loud speakers.  Out in the country where horses roamed free, there was no listening to rock ‘n roll or hip hop, it was all country.  A typical truck ride was driving on dirt roads and listening to George Strait and Johnny Cash.  One more thing to note, there was no flat talk...everything had a twang.

        Troy taught Shane everything he needed to know.  He explained to him how to do all the chores on the ranch- everything from milking the cows to saddling up the horses.  Shane was informed on how to act and look like a cowboy.  He learned how to button his shirt and click his boots when he walked.  “Never, ever let dust settle into that cowboy hat of yers,” he often said, “And always keep yer belt buckle clean.  Gotta make sure it stays nice and shiny.”  He even lectured him on common courtesy.  Troy specifically told him to say “please and thank you” and ‘yes, ma’am and yes sir” when it was necessary.  “Oh, and never forget to hold the door open for the ladies,” Troy said, “That’s what all the country boys do.”  Troy also enlightened him about a little secret- the proper way to tip his hat whenever he met a pretty little lady.  He made sure that if he was to teach Shane how to do something, he did it...and did it well.  

        Since bull riding was a huge deal in their family, they attended bull riding schools when they were young.  They learned all the basics from how to grip a rope to the proper way to ride a bull.  Long and hard they trained so that they would be able to fulfill their dreams.  As the years went on, however, and they had more lessons, it was evident that Shane was the athlete in the house.  He was tall, strong, and muscular.  He had all the right characteristics of a bull rider.  Though Troy was strong too, he didn’t match up to his younger brother.  Shane’s grip on the rope seemed to be perfect and positioning so precise that it couldn’t have been any better.  Troy couldn’t figure it out.  Shane was able to stay on those bulls forever.  It seemed as if he had everything under control and knew what the bull was going to do next.  It was eerie- the flow and bucking motion almost seemed fake.  Troy worked extra hard but at the end of the day he was never satisfied with his work compared to that of his brother.  As many applauded Shane and praised his excellence, Troy began to have resentment toward his brother and his attitude toward Shane became bitter.  He no longer had a desire to help him or be with him.  

        Shane didn’t boast of his abilities.  He tried to remain true to himself and loyal to Troy.  Although he showed love and compassion toward him, he seldom received any in return.  He stayed humble about his bull riding but this was always squandered by snide comments made by Troy.  “I ain’t that good...I mean anyone could do that,” Shane said.  “Oh stop acting like you don’t think you’re better than everybody else” Troy sneered. 

            Even though Troy didn’t treat Shane well at all, Shane still looked to Troy for wisdom and guidance.  Besides the fact that Troy hated him, he was a very wise man.  Though it wasn’t easy, Shane tried to ignore these cruel remarks.  As they grew up, they spent their whole teenage life with a severed relationship.  Both participated in local rodeos and advanced in their bull riding.

            The Southern Oklahoma State Rodeo was always a fun rodeo to watch.  Shane had been to it three times, but this time he was actually going to participate in it.  Behind the grandstand, Shane put his equipment on along with the other competitors.  About twenty feet away was a pen with all the horses.  Multiple people were standing next to the pen feeding, cleaning, and tending to the horses.  Shane glanced over to the crowd and happened to see a cowgirl taking care of a big black horse.  As Shane watched her, he found it hard to take his eyes off her.  She was so beautiful- she was tall and slim with dirty blonde hair.  She wore a blue plaid shirt, dark jeans, and brown cowboy boots.  Her hair was pulled back in a loose French braid that wasn’t done the neatest.  But Shane didn’t seem to notice that- she was the prettiest thing he had ever seen.  By the time his gaze was broken, it was his turn to ride.  When he was finished, he went back behind the grandstand and began to take off his equipment.  Again, he saw that beautiful girl who was so gorgeous- he couldn’t believe it.  He packed up the courage to talk to her and surprisingly they had a spark.  The next thing he knew he was standing at the front of a huge church looking down the aisle at his beautiful wife-to-be.  She wasn’t just beautiful, though.  She was smart, funny, intelligent, and a perfect match for him.  Though Shane had found his match, Troy had not.  And the two brothers continued their bad relationship.

            At one rodeo held in Dallas, Texas the whole situation got worse.  Now, this wasn’t just any rodeo they were competing in.  This was the national rodeo that led to the World Finals and Troy was the first to perform.  From the very beginning, it was obvious that he was having a bad night.  As the gate opened, the bull caught him off guard and he began to slide.  He fell off only after a few short seconds and landed face down into the dirt.  He was only able to raise his head a few inches off the ground when he heard a huge crack.  The bull had trampled on top of him crushing his knee to pieces.  The crowd continued to grimace at the horrific event and he was taken to the nearest hospital.  Still in shock of the previous events, Shane mounted his bull and took a shot at it.  As usual, Shane had a tight grip on the bull and managed to stay on for eight seconds.  All the riders took their turn and when all were finished, the results seemed to conclude that everybody was having a bad night.  All except one…except Shane.  Even though he won that night, he never took his mind off his brother.  He picked up his winnings and headed straight for the hospital.  As he entered, he wondered what he was going to say to his brother.  He came to Troy’s bed side and sat on a chair nearby. 

            “Howdy, Troy” he said in a quiet voice.  “I brought you something.” 

            As he began to pull out his winnings, Troy began to speak. “Go away, Shane.  Leave.  You ruined my life.  I was supposed to be the pro in the family- I was supposed to be successful.  Now look where I am.  I’m stuck in the hospital and I can’t even walk.  My career is over…it has been ever since you started taking bull riding lessons with me…You just had to be better than me… Doc says that I won’t even be able to bull ride anymore.  You got me into this mess… so get out.”

            Shane got up from his chair without even looking at his brother.  He could hear him talking to his mother as he walked out of the room. 

            “You shouldn’t have treated your brother like that, Troy” she said with a subdued voice.

           “He ruined my life, ma” he shouted.  “He doesn’t deserve…” Shane didn’t even hear the rest of the sentence.  He didn’t want to hear what his brother said about him.  This whole time Shane had treated his brother and the rest of his family with respect and this was what he got in return.  No… he didn’t deserve to be treated like this.  But then again maybe he did.  Maybe he hadn’t tried hard enough to please his family.  Maybe he hadn’t been as loyal of a brother as he could have been.  He didn’t know… He didn’t know what to think at the moment.  All the recent events were being replayed in his mind.  He needed to go to his apartment and think.  He needed to call his wife and talk it all out.  He always did that when he was in a tough situation.  His wife was the person who he wanted to talk to when he was in trouble.  She understood him and made him feel better.  He wanted to write her a note telling her how much he appreciated her, but he never really had the time.  Maybe tonight after he gave her a call he would take the time to write her a letter.  He called her up and began to tell her everything.  As usual, he felt better after talking to her.  However, he still felt terrible that his brother had a grudge against him.  He picked up his phone again and dialed Troy’s number.  To his dismay, he didn’t answer, so he left a message. 

            “Howdy, Troy.  It’s me again.  I just wanted to let you know that I care about you and love you.  I hope you can learn to love me someday.  I didn’t mean to ruin your life.  I just wanted to be like you.  That’s all I have to say, I guess.  See y’all later.”  He hung up the phone once he finished.  For some reason he still felt incomplete.  “Oh well” he thought.  “I’ll get over it.”  Starring at the walls in the hotel room, he decided to write a letter and pulled out a piece of paper.  It didn’t turn out to be a long letter but he felt it got his point across. 

            The next day Shane got out of bed and walked to the breakfast area.  He finished eating and got dressed without really thinking of the events that happened the night before.  He was, however, thinking about the World Finals.  This was the event that he had been working toward for so long.  He packed his things and headed for the lobby.  He caught his plane that landed him in Las Vegas.  When he arrived at his hotel, he could feel his nerves kicking in already.  The whole world would be watching him.  Everyone except one... except his brother Troy.  Shane figured that Troy ignored him and would have nothing to do with him.  He sat on his bed thinking about the big day ahead of him. 

            Troy stood at the front desk waiting to check out of the hospital.  Surprisingly, he was able to get out the hospital quite quickly considering the severity of his injury.  His leg was completely bandaged up from top to bottom.  He leaned against his crutches as he waited for his paperwork.  His parents would be picking him up and bringing him to his little house in Wyoming that was very close to where his parents lived.  His knee was still throbbing with pain.  He looked around the hospital to hide the misery that his leg was causing him.  Looking at his phone and not expecting to find anything interesting, he saw that he had a voicemail.  He opened his phone and looked at the number.  He recognized it, but couldn’t quite put a finger on who had called him.  He clicked on the number and held the phone up to his ear.  As the voice started speaking, he immediately knew who it was.  He listened carefully to his brother’s words.  Before he knew it, his brother had ended his message and a little click sounded in the phone. 

            He stared at his phone and thought about what he just heard.  He realized that he had treated his brother terribly.  He didn’t know that his brother loved him.  He thought that everyone hated him for not living up to Shane’s standards of riding.  He thought that no one would ever take the time to think of him.  But someone did.  His brother did.  The one person that he disowned most thought about him and loved him.  Suddenly his eyes welled up with tears.  As the lady at the front desk handed him his papers, he felt tear drops running down his face, one of which landed on the papers that were just given to him.  “Have a nice day” she told him in a cheery voice, but her words never registered in Troy’s mind.  He was too busy thinking about his brother… his loving and kind brother… a man that had a heart for others.  Walking to the exit door, he saw his parents’ car outside waiting for him.  He got in the car with some difficulty but he made it.  In the car, he was thinking about how he could tell his brother that he loved him too and that he was sorry for all the things that he did that hurt him.  He looked out the window and saw a sign that said “Dallas Airport 5 miles.”  He had an idea. 

            “Dad, take me to the airport.” 

            “What for, son?” 

            “I need to see Shane.” 

             “Maybe some other time, boy.  You need to rest right now.”

             “No, Dad.  You don’t understand.  I need to go now.” 

            “Well, if you say so, son.”  He pulled into the airport and helped him out of the car.  They walked inside and looked for a quick flight to Vegas.  He could catch one at 10:00 that night.  Though his dad was not in favor of him flying right after getting out of the hospital, Troy bought the ticket.  Both of his parents waited with him at the airport until his flight left.  After a long day at the airport, it was time for Troy to board his plane.

             “Are you sure about this, son?”

             “Yeah, Dad.  I’m sure.  See y’all later.” 

            “Be careful” his mother said to him as he walked away on his crutches.  He didn’t have any of his things along except his wallet in his back pocket.  All he wanted to do was see Shane and be there for him on his big day.  Back in Vegas, it was only a little after 9:00.  Shane was nervous for tomorrow.  Most of all he was disappointed that he didn’t hear back from his brother.  On the plane, Troy was wondering what he was going to say to his brother when he got the chance to see him.  He popped some painkillers into his mouth and soon fell asleep.

            The flight was over before he knew it.  He got off the plane and walked into the airport.  Since he didn’t have anything with him he left right away.  Troy caught a cab and checked into the nearest hotel.  When he woke up late the next morning, he grabbed a quick bite to eat and headed for the arena.  Long before Troy had left, Shane had gotten ready, eaten breakfast, and went on his way.  The whole time Shane was up, he thought about all his family and how none of them came with him to Vegas.  It wasn’t that his family didn’t care.  His wife was back at home.  She couldn’t come because of her work.  His parents were with Troy.  He understood that.  He wanted Troy to get better soon.  He just wished that someone could be there.  While Shane was at the hotel getting ready and all these thoughts were going through his mind, he had no idea that Troy came to see him and watch him… and was sleeping in the room right next to his.

            Troy paid to get in and sat in the closet seat toward the front that he could find.  He looked around the arena to see that hundreds of people had come even earlier than he did.  It wouldn’t start for another hour.  He knew that his brother would be here until the start of the show.  He left his seat and went down to the Grandstand.  As he walked past, he saw news reporters from all over the world, talking into a camera about the big day.  All kinds of retired pro bull riders were discussing with one another about who they thought would win and who they wanted to win and what not.  He made his way to the back and looked all around for Shane.  He came to the place where all the cowboys were getting ready and preparing themselves for their ride.  He stood behind the gate and searched for Shane. 

            “Shane!” he yelled.  “Shane, where are you?”  Lots of men looked at him, but Troy didn’t recognize anyone that stared at him.  He soon found it pointless yelling at a bunch of people that couldn’t understand him over the entire ruckus that came from the people storming in.  He made his way back to his seat, wondering whether or not he was going to see his brother.

            The show was about to start and Shane was all ready.  He was thinking about all the things he had learned- all the training that he went through.  He tried not to think about his brother.  He came to the conclusion that Troy had not forgiven him and that he would go through this alone. 

            Back in the stands, Troy had found that he forgot to reserve his seat and that it had been occupied when he was gone.  He found the nearest seat which was a few rows back from the front.  The show was starting and he waited anxiously for Shane’s turn.  There were a lot of contestants in the World Finals and somewhere in that long line of competitors was the country boy from Wyoming.  As the show went on, he found that Shane was toward the end.  Troy was starting to get worried.  What if he had come all this way to find that Shane wasn’t in it?  What if he had hurt him so bad that he decided not to compete?  As all these thoughts ran through his head and the announcer was rambling on over the loud speaker, it was time for the last ride of the finals.  Then he heard his brother’s name.

            Shane was extremely nervous.  He had started to sweat just standing there.  He put his shaky hands on the bull’s neck and pulled himself up.  He got in the right position and took a few deep breaths.  He steadied himself and remembered all his training.  He ran through all the strategies and all the things he would do if he would face certain situations.  It seemed to take forever before his gate was opened.  Then he heard the bell.  The gate opened and he was off.  The ride of his life had begun.  Even though it would only last a few seconds, it was so important to him.  The bull was going crazy.  But he remained calm.  He kept his knees tucked in tight in the bull’s side and kept his left hand in the air.   

             His rhythm was perfect… the ride was perfect.  It couldn’t have been any better.  Even though the bull was wild, Shane’s strong muscles held on.  During those short eight seconds, commentators were yelling to the cameras about the best ride of the night.  There was no need for any points to be tallied.  Everyone knew who the winner was.  From the hardest bull to ride to the cowboy who did it all, the ride made for a perfect combination; a combination that was awarded the most points.  When the eight seconds were over, the crowd went wild.  Troy jumped up, one arm holding a crutch that supported him and the other in the air cheering for his brother.  He had never felt such joy for his brother as he did for him now.  From the words that were said over the speakers to the crowd going wild, Shane knew that he had done it.  He got off the bull and stood in the middle of the arena.  He was shocked and couldn’t believe what was happening.  He had worked so hard and now his work had paid off.  “If only I could share this moment with Troy.  If only he would be happy for me.” 

             Shane stood there while the crowd was still cheering.  While he looked around, he felt something hit him.  He didn’t know what it was… maybe it was the thought that he had just won and fulfilled his dreams.  It was much more than that, however.  He fell to the ground and the cheers of the crowd turned into screams within a second.  The bull had gotten out of control and run him over.  Troy’s smile quickly turned to a look of terror.  He dropped his crutches and limped down the stairs toward the gate of the arena.  Shane lay on the ground.  He started to get up, but the bull beat him and got him in the back with his massive horns.  Troy couldn’t believe his eyes.  He climbed over the gate and rushed toward his brother.  Though his knee was killing him with pain, he needed to see his brother.  He wanted to see Shane so bad but not like this.  Shane saw someone limping to his side.  At first he couldn’t tell who it was.  Then he saw that it was Troy.  He couldn’t believe it… his brother had come to see him.  Troy went to Shane and took his hand into his.  As he looked into his brother’s face, Troy began to tear up. 

            “Troy…” Shane said with a quivering voice.

             “I thought you would never come.”  His breathing was deep and heavy.  The pain in his back was so extraordinary his body went numb.  Troy squeezed his brother’s hand even tighter when he saw his brother gasping for air.  He knew that it wasn’t going to be long. 

            “Shane” he said in a worried voice. 

            “Shane, look at me, bud.”  Shane broke his gaze and looked Troy in the eyes. 

             “I’m sorry, Shane.  Please forgive me.”  Shane continued to look at Troy with his glassy eyes. 

            “I love you, Shane” Troy whispered in his brother’s ear.  Neither of them spoke for a few seconds.  Then a quiet and trembling voice spoke.

             “Troy…” said Shane with the energy that he had left in him.  But he didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence.        

             “Yeah, Shane?” said Troy in a frantic voice.

             “Talk to me, brother.”  He gave Shane’s hand a little shake.  But he remained silent.  After a few short seconds Shane took his last breath. 

            “Shane!  Look at me!”  But he didn’t respond. 

            “Shane, don’t leave me!”  Troy said with big drops of tears running from his face. 

            “NO!  I need you!”  But Troy knew that it was over.  His brother was gone.

            The event made all kinds of news around the world.  The tragic death of the newly crowned bull riding champ saddened people from all over the globe. 

            It was a dreary day on Saturday, June 8.  Troy was standing in the front of a multitude of people gathered around the casket… the casket that held his brother.  He stood next to Shane’s wife with his crutches and held her hand like he had held Shane’s the day he died.  He could hear her silent sniffles as they listened to the minister.  When she heard the death of her husband on T.V., she nearly fainted.  The next few days she spent most of her time crying and feeling guilty that she wasn’t there for Shane.  Family members and friends stopped by to see her, but she still had a hard time getting through the situation.  Though he still couldn’t believe that his brother was gone, Troy was glad that he was able to tell his brother that he loved him.  He would have rather given him a simple apology followed by a ride home filled with celebration with Shane than a short goodbye, but he couldn’t change the fact that his brother was no longer with him. 

            When the ceremony was over he went home and lied down.  After he took a short nap he had some supper.  On Monday, he and the rest of his family would go to Shane’s house to help his wife sort through his things.  When the time came, he drove to his brother’s house and met up with everybody else.  After his death, one of Shane’s fellow bull riders had given Troy Shane’s bag that he had taken to the arena.  When Troy and his family began to go through all of Shane’s belongings, Troy took that bag out and opened it.  There were a few things in it including an extra pair of riding gloves, a magazine, his wallet, and a pen.  He emptied out the bag and at the bottom he saw a folded piece of paper.  He unfolded it and saw that he had written a letter to someone.  As he skimmed the letter he began to read it aloud to himself. 

            “Troy, I didn’t know if you got my message, so I thought I would write you a little note.  I always looked up to you and saw you as a role model.  You took care of me when I was younger and taught me how to do everything.  I just wanted to say thank you for being my brother.  I’m sorry for anything I did that hurt you.  I didn’t mean to harm you; I was just trying to be like you.  I don’t want to continue this kind of relationship for the rest of my life.  Please forgive me, Troy.  –Shane.”  Troy reread the letter many times.  Finally, he folded it back up and put it in his pocket.

            One year later, Troy found himself at the cemetery.  It was the one year anniversary of the event that changed his life forever.  He laid down some flowers down at his brother’s grave that he picked up the day before.  He also held a piece of paper in his hand.  It was a letter he had written in response to Shane’s letter.  “Shane, it wasn’t you that was the problem.  It was me all along.  Our whole lives it was me who made my life miserable, not you.  You were such a good sport and I was jealous.  Even though I was never a loving person, you were.  Shane, I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did.  I’m sorry.  Even though yer gone now, I’m glad we were able to make it up to each other.”  He tucked the letter behind the flowers and kneeled by Shane’s grave. 

            “I miss you, cowboy” Troy whispered as he slowly got back up.  As Troy left, he had a good feeling inside of him.  He knew that even though Shane was no longer with him, somehow he had gotten the message.